Story Addict

blogging, writing, carrying babies, baking, crafting

2011-10-18T09:12:00.000-07:00

I have started writing a column for a great parenting/family site based in Toronto called Bunchland. Its all about preparing for our twins in our own arty DIY way. I've also been working for the last five months for a great kids company as their interactive writer. I am loving all the projects I get to weigh in on.

Its been a lot of fun to get our apartment ready and make crafts for the nursery. I am in my third trimester now and those babies are kicking up a storm! Its so strange to be pregnant. Never has such a major thing going on in my life been so evident in an external way to the world. I get asked constantly by strangers when I am due, what the sex of the baby is and when I say its twins people ask if my mother is coming to help. Seriously the cashier at Walmart asked if my mom was going to help me. It was hilariously inappropriate.

My husband of course doesn't have to deal with all the questions about his body, his birth etc. Nor does he look like a circle. Literally I am a circle now. I am thinking of dressing up as a pumpkin for Halloween. What is also amazing to me is all the people coming out of the woodwork that want to offer me their old baby stuff, clothes, strollers etc. Even people I don't know have sent things over with family and friends.

Why do people think having babies is so expensive? It is a time in their life that they literally have no comment on how you dress them, all baby stuff is so gently used and can be found at thrift stories, on craigslist or can be handed down from family and friends. Or you can make them the silliest little toy and they'll likely love it. The main expense will likely be the billion diapers they'll go through daily. Why are diapers so expensive again?

I read that the babies can now hear what is going on outside of their protective womb and that stories read to them now can actually help calm them after I give birth. So Jason has started reading some Dr. Seuss to my belly at night.

A Sad Day

2011-08-23T07:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Jack Layton the leader of the NDP died of cancer. The public outpouring has been inspiring and heart wrenching. He died a mere 16 weeks after his amazing win as the leader of the opposition party. Finally the Liberal party was ousted from that position.

At the time of the election I was filling in at the social media desk at the CBC and I was charged by the historic election. The NDP has always stood for what I believe in social justice, working families and no one stands for that more than Jack. Who rallied for cycling, food banks, the rights of women and gay pride as a city councilor.

I like many found it hard to watch as he delivered his final public appearance when he stepped down as the leader of the NDP, he was frail and looked older than his years. But his eyes were still bright and hopeful as he talked about fighting cancer.

Even two days before his death he wrote a letter to Canadians about the work that needs to still be done, the optimism we should all feel and how we live in a great country. His letter cut right through all my cynicism and made me feel that we can all do something, that I can do something, that I need to continue to fight and care for this city and country I live in. Especially now that I will have two sons who will find their own way in the world. I only hope that I can instill in them similar values.

To say Jack was an inspiration somehow isn't even adequate. He was a lefty champion and there will be a hole with his passing, but at the same time I imagine many feel revitalized to carry on his vision.

Seeing Double

2011-08-15T11:04:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else out there have a hard time accepting they are not 13 years old anymore?

In mere months I will be the parent of two children. Not just one, two! People keep telling me I will be a great mom, how do they know, what are the signs or clues. I would certainly like to know. I don't always feel like I have the daughter, sister, friend, wife role down yet now another huge one is on the horizon..... mom.

What is most shocking is I am not at all sure I recall or actually did grow up yet? I am still so aligned with who I was when I was a kid that I am just not sure the whole official adult thing has happened to me. That must be why I like to produce kids stuff.

I mean I am certainly much older. Aging check. That seems to be proceeding. But I am still waiting for the big AHA! moment where everything just magically falls into place I smile a benevolent and knowing smile and I know I am everything I am supposed to be and my life is as it should be.

Still waiting. Any time now?

I don't think it is going to happen.

The truth is I think maybe the best thing I can do for my children is let them sometimes see that I don't have all the answers. That I will continue to search, that I still have dreams that I need to fulfill. That I am a parent but also annoyingly human.

Double Trouble

2011-07-12T08:46:00.001-07:00

What a year it has been, new job, new marriage, quitting that job, now another new job and pregnant with twins.

We are going to be a family of 4 in mere months. And they are identical to boot. The standard questions and comments have been 'do twins run in your family' 'wow you're REALLY showing' 'wow just wow' 'can I touch your belly' 'how are you going to afford two of everything' etc. And sometimes just plain screaming 'NO WAY!' Ah, the miracle of life and life.

Identical twins are just wacky science. It has nothing to do with genetics, age, fertility drugs or where I live An egg split and viola... two babies. Wham bam! There is a lot to think about with twins, more risks, more doctor appointments, more symptoms more exhaustion. Oh my! But man is it cool. They are going to have their own special twin language and grow up with a pal.

I look in the mirror and am blown away by the fact that me and my lovely husband made two babies and now they are cooking up, soon to be served into our lives

Can we handle it? Gawd I don't know. But a friend of mine today said she knew we'd bring our humor and wackiness to our double challenge of parenthood. Here we go!

If your happy and you know it!

2011-06-10T10:55:00.000-07:00

I want to qualify first off I am not into self-help books. I hate the super positive, uber-obvious tone of the them. Do A, B, C and everything will simply fall into place. Often these books offer too much advice are too simplistic and aren't written by experts in any way. I realize this is a massive over generalization but this is just a little personal blog so I am going to allow myself this luxury.

However, self-help books aside, I have always been interested in what makes us tick, how are brains work, and how to simply have more control over how we perceive the world. There are some interesting writers out there looking at happiness and the struggle to obtain it. Gretchen Rubin penned the Happiness Project where she test drove a bunch of theories of what makes one happy. She looked at religious theories, poems etc and encourages others to start their own Happiness Project. A light hearted reminder that sometimes a change of habit can make all the difference.

I love this TED talk on the power of vulnerability by researcher and social worker Brene Brown who studies human connection. She spent ten years studying vulnerability, courage, authenticity, and shame. Her research showed her that people who lived with vulnerability and acceptance of themselves were truly happy. Her book is called: The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. I haven't read it yet but just the title alone is great advice.

I recently took out of the library a book called Authentic Happiness by Martin E.P. Seligman, PHD what has charted an approach to living with flexible optimism and his book encourages people to draw upon the strengths they have to be happy rather than assume good luck and genes brings happy days.

What I like about these writers and thinkers is they have analytical and critical minds and they bring a sense of humour to their research and writing. These are not just first person anecdotal accounts of one persons opinions but rather a researched and through looking at how human emotions work.

On the Happiness Project website Heather writes that being happy is about helping others and making them happy, and one can only help others when one is happy. Of course one has to be accountable to themselves for their attitude and perception towards life, but we are all interconnected. Especially these days with facebook and twitter we are constantly keeping track of one anothers moves and accomplishments -- but we should of course also use that opportunity to try to be genuine and good to one another.

Spring Sprung Sprightly

2011-05-25T11:04:00.000-07:00

Hello to the blogosphere,

We have finally shed winter in TO and the sun is shining, well kinda. Weather really impacts peoples moods. I have also shed a work situation that was not well suited to me and am now excited to be working on some cool collaborations and digging back into some writing.

I have started growing some plants on my urban balcony and plan to spend a lot of time out there musing and writing. I recently did some work in the newsroom of CBC during some major news events: ie our historical federal elections (NDP came in second and the Conservatives got a majority), Bin Laden was killed (!) and of course the Royal Wedding. It was fun to be in the world of news and feel part of that excitement and also witness what stories people gravitate towards.

More to come. Oh stories currently being consumed. The wonder spot by Melissa Banks, she is a great writer. Just read High Fidelity by Nick Hornby and the graphic novel Lint by Chris Ware (he managed to capture an entire life in one short book). Thank goodness for the library.

Where do you buy your coffee?

2011-03-23T07:49:00.001-07:00

Today on my way to work I stopped for a tea at Tim Horton's, a Canadian staple. I noticed that unlike when I stop in at Starbucks there were no laptops or no creative meetings happening. There were working men with lunch boxes and dads with their kids. It was a totally different coffee shop experience.

This got me thinking about that interesting multi-nuanced reality that is identity. I have to admit I am an urbanite-type. Creative, all my friends are mostly activists and artists, I live in the city, detest the suburbs and constantly talk over coffee and meals with friends about my dreams. My big, ever imposing dreams. I am too old to be a hipster I believe, but I've been accused of having the look. Being cool, unconventional.

Sigh, here is the catch 22 of being an creative city type. One who is creative needs time to breath, contemplate, get better at their craft. However, living in the city is expensive and forces one to work doing things they likely don't want to in order to keep living here. However, living in the city connects one easily to the people they need to know for their creative career and helps them to find collaborators and sympathizers to what is important to them.

I have tired desperately to just not be creative. Be practical, work, go home. Have a good job. Its like a disease that is incurable. At our wedding all our friends speeches talked about how my husband and I were a creative dynamo, much like a Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera... without all the cheating and drama of course. And how the creative visions in our head we made a reality. Very kind words. But while being creative does bring me much joy, its also this constant nagging need that never goes away. Some people are just accountants. That path is so clear and decisive. Something has always been so attractive and allusive about that type of clarity.

It seems like all my posts are about the same thing lately. Mmmmm. Just the struggles of a navel-gazing, story addict dreaming of creative dreams and retirement from a day job.

Glass half full. Seriously.

2011-03-16T11:29:00.000-07:00

Hands down Canada is the best place to live on earth. So what if it is winter 7 months of the year. There is not much chance of major natural disasters, we have health care, we have welfare and unemployment. There is no current war on our soil. We have lots of water and space.

While I look at the what is happening in Japan and the devastation there it hits me that every week another country is dealing with political upheaval and disasters. Sure I go through the internal struggles every creative person has, wanting to succeed on my art, needing to balance that with making a living, needing more time to do what I want. But wow sometimes do I feel like a navel gazer... which I am. That is just another one of the many luxuries I can enjoy.

I was reading an article today by a writer of a book called Second Thought Outsmarting Hard Wired Habits. His research shows that individuals often go with what is familiar simply because they are scared of what they do not know. Again a very luxurious dilemma. Never really going for it because we like to stick with what we already know.

My point... mostly to myself. Go for it. Whatever your it may be. Because honestly it is a luxury to even have dreams and to even remotely have the possibility of making them come true.

hug a librarian day

2011-03-01T10:10:00.000-08:00

On this day when we should all hug our librarians I am going to speculate and rant about the book. Yes, the e-reader is on the stage now and threatens books the same way the music and film industry were threatened. The mere thought of a bookless world is crushing to me. I love everything about books the feel of the paper, the cover art, the smell of old books. Libraries excite me. I love the idea of pouring over all kinds of books and filling my head with information and stories. I fall asleep with a book in my hands every night. I believe the book will not die. If it does we are in trouble.

To write a book usually involves years of work, many edits, much workshopping. Because it is such an expense for a publisher to take a chance on a writer... usually and hopefully that book has been perfected by the time it comes out. If we loose books will the same amount of craft be put into story telling. We need those stories and we need good ones. They help get us through the drudgery of real life and give us an escape.

Look at the Harry Potter phenomenon. It started as books, then a film and now a video game. Children fell in love with the story and character through reading. Books are the nucleus of story telling. Also, children learn so much from having picture books read to them by associating words with drawings.From my highly scientific research of observing readers during my commute there are still more books then e-readers. I can only hope while the e-reader has its uses that the tactile experience of reading does not fade away.

why i don't believe in growing up

2011-02-28T12:36:00.000-08:00

I got to be part of a great writing circle on the weekend thanks to my agent Sam Hiyate for inviting me. To actually be amongst writers who are actively working on book projects is so inspiring for me. It's frustrating to write a book and often has to be done around a full time job. Its also incredibly time consuming to write well and rewrite so its things like this that will keep me going.

During the circle an excerpt was read from a memoir of woman with strict immigrant parents who in her 30's has decided to relive the childhood she never had. This really struck a cord with me. I too was not ever allowed to sleep over at a friends, talk to a boy on the phone, i never took lessons or went to a sleep away camp. Friends of mine seemed to have these cultured interesting lives where they went to play's and took ballet lessons. Lives that I wanted but it seemed somehow impossible to achieve.

I am a grown woman hanging on to her childhood. Not that my childhood was horrible or anything. It was just with my parents factory work schedules and struggles to belong in a country they weren't born in they didn't have the ability to encourage my interests. I wrote countless poems on an electric typewriter, spilled india ink on my gray rug and found myself all on my own. I still hang on to this searching quality and belief that I am not done yet. I want to always get better at things, push myself to do more, experience more. It's hard to remember this in the drudgery of the everyday and the needing to pay the bills that this is still important.

I also plan to always believe in make-believe and play. Stories I love to create and consume are imaginative and whimsical they are about what is possible and magic. I may be a grown up but I plan to always hang on to hopes and optimism as hard as that may seem sometimes its what makes me... well me.

Women, Ladies, Gals

2011-01-31T10:20:00.000-08:00

Like always there is a lot of unrest in the world. In Cairo there have been massive protests due to a corrupt leader. Yet another reminder of the sheltered and incredible quality of life I have.

On the weekend I got in some much needed gal time with a few inspiring and amazing female friends. Both do things in unconventional ways, have creative and dynamic careers and are always looking to grow and get all they can out of their lives -- and they do it without men by their side.

I need strong women in my life because they remind me of what I need to remember -- which is that there are those of us that still believe in feminism. We may not have to be part of massive protests in this country but it is a daily struggle that continues. In our work places when male colleagues make assumptions of our abilities, pass us over for opportunities or when other women in their own attempts to get ahead steal our ideas as their own. We still bear the children, but now we also struggle to maintain careers regardless of the entrenched sexism that still exists. We're doing it our way goshdarnit!

Its hard to believe we live in a time where there are women who are still murdered by fathers and brothers in the name of 'honor killings' yet when you ask a young girl here if she is a feminist she cringes. What happened? Do we have it so good here in North America that the struggles of women worldwide have fallen off the radar. Girl's mainstream role models, while there are some good ones, often come across as oversexed, unstable and wild. Its making me increasingly uncomfortable. How will I raise my own family be it a girl or boy to care about this stuff when it is so far from their reality and consciousness?

In the book I am writing the main character is a girl, and she is a reluctant hero through out the book. Although she longs to be popular, nab a boyfriend and just finally be normal -- it does slowly occur to her that being different makes her special and that she can always rely on herself when no one else comes through for her. Young adult literature is an opportunity to show girls that the story is not always about nabbing the boy. There are many more stories to tell.

The vain royalty

2011-01-27T13:12:00.000-08:00

There is a population of people that fascinate, perplex and amuse me. A population that I judge and dissect. People that feel simultaneously beneath and above me. These people are celebrities... I hate to admit it but when I like a TV show or movie I always want to 'know' about the actors that are in it. Do they have kids, are they married, are they divorced are they vegetarians or do the practice attachment parenting? I hate to admit this fact about myself or to anyone I know. Why because it just doesn't fit into my ultra lefty non pop culture junky. When was I like that again? I remember my youth when I as all political and refused to watch TV.

Okay celebrities. What is it about them? When I was working on The Hour I actually got to be in the same room as some famous people and honestly it was creepy. I sat in a room with Peter Krause, I was a big six feet under fan, and he just felt so familiar to me. I felt like I knew him. The sad thing is he didn't know me even remotely. How inexplicably awkward and uncomfortable. No wonder people stalk and shoot celebrities -- they really feel like they have real relationships with them.

Celebrities are people we watch grow up in TV and film, or age, we see there relationships splashed across the tabloids the paparazzi pics of their children in playground in hip mini outfits. It is just so weird and wrong. Guess what they don't even remotely care about us. Except as a mass of entities that support their million dollar careers. Why should they care about the public really? The public are these obsessed stalking vultures. But hey they asked for it right, they choose fame. Not sure if I buy that exactly. Would I ever want to totally give up all my privacy for fame? A glamorous jet set life could be pretty cool. Hard to say.

The thing that is even sicker about it all is that there are so many celebrities now. Brief flashes int he pan that make a splash on one of the reality shows like American Idol, or whatever else is on. I don't watch those and I can't keep track of all of them. People who for brief periods of time are endlessly reported through the blogosphere. I haven't even tuned into Jersey Shore... guys that are obsessed with tanning, girls and their clothes... I just can't spend my time on that.

What is my point here? I guess it just blows my mind that we have literally made these celebrities out to be super human. More worthy of our time, energy and attention than any other human. Also, that celebrities sign up for this dissection of their lives, morale, characters, bodies, face, clothes etc. etc. These are strange and weird times we live in.

Laugh!

2011-01-19T08:10:00.001-08:00

I am told that my laugh is infectious. My husband is embarrassed by how loud my laugh is in public. I would also describe my laugh as nervous, weird and sometimes very inappropriate.

I am floored by what others don't find utterly absurd and amusing. Many of us go to weird buildings and sit at desks for 7 hours and do not talk to the people who sit two feet away from us. We do this every day. We barely see our spouses, families, friends because we're making money that we then spend on who knows what. Sigh, the rat race. I have decided today -- and it is official because it was written on my facebook status-- that I am going to simply laugh at what is unfair in life.

It was all sparked by this article I read on the site Big Think about how we can live forever if we have a positive attitude. It said other stuff that was more scientific about life expectancy but I decided to focus on the part that I could control... my attitude. I don't like to admit it but I am very negative and I complain about just about everything anyone can complain about. This is not good. This is bad. Very bad. Mainly because my husband has to listen to most of these rants. Poor guy.

Are there things I want out of my life, sure! Am I afraid opportunities will slip me by, course who isn't? But one thing I do have on my side is that I can find a lot of stuff funny. Life can be comedy when you look at is slightly skewed and upside down. For example, we hosted a brunch on new year's eve day... I baked, I cooked, I stayed in on new year's eve to do all this. We invited people over for noonish. We got a flood of canceling texts and phone calls around noon. The food sat on the tables and the counter. Jason looked out the window and said 'please come to our party'. He was extra pathetic for comedic effect.

People did show up at around 2PM and later. We ate and had a pleasant afternoon. Funny, right! I mean it worked out people came, so we didn't sit there with food for 10 by ourselves. It was so awesome that Jason made that joke and it made it all seem silly to be upset about it. Okay this is hardly a major life drama, but people do get stressed about these things and usually lash out at who is around them. Trust me there was plenty of crazy stress leading up to the big W day that I decided to laugh at and my sanity is the better for it.

Just call me a guru of sorts why don't ya?

Dragons, broomsticks, wizards and owls oh my!

2011-01-17T08:04:00.000-08:00

Its another cold long winter in Toronto. So I settle in to read and read and read. I am on book four of the Harry Potter series. I don't know why I resisted for so long. Is it just my need to be counterculture and reject mainstream successes? I'm too old to be hip I think so I should really just give up, and I don't think people who hate to leave their house have any hope of being hip so I know choose to embrace the mainstream! Sometimes something that is popular to the masses can actually be good. Here is what I love about this series and reminds me of what I am trying to do in my own work. Its about an average kid in an extraordinary world.

Harry Potter may fight for his life against evil wizard's and evil creatures but he is still a boy who struggles to get along with his guardians, his friends and tries to get through his lessons. Lovely. Of course it appeals to many its what we all dream of; a fantastical world that exists right under our noses that we can be part of.

I am enjoying it and finding it inspiring.

Another story I consumed over the weekend that has garnered much mainstream success is Eat, Pray, Love movie starring Julia Roberts and based on the book by Elizabeth Gilbert. Its a story about reinventing ones self at any stage in life and traveling while you do it. Perhaps it does come across as a privileged woman's ramblings but I'm a sucker for 'take on the world' stories. I also like that the message is learn from the people you meet along the way and falling in love is not the be all and end all of happiness. The main character is often told 'to find a husband' she has divorced hers who does seem childish next to her success. She grows tired of being told a man is the end to her story. Though in the end she does go off into the sunset with a man. Could I travel by myself across the world for a year. I'd like to think I can but it sounds terrifying. Sometimes I don't want to leave my apartment at night to go to the video store. Maybe this post is really about my fear of leaving the house.

story time

2011-01-05T07:09:00.000-08:00

Here are the stories that are recently on my radar. TV has actually gotten really good these days. All those pretentious people who claim they 'never watch TV' are missing out on some amazing and complex storytelling, and some fun guilty pleasures.

Dexter, season 3. Mind blowing, cannot wait to see where they take this series next. A serial killer that the audience actually roots for, who hides who he really is to all those around him. Yet he is fiercely loyal and protective and kills only bad guys. Amazing story. Breaking Bad is due to start a new season soon, a high-school science teacher who gets cancer and to pay for his treatments hooks up with a hoodlum to brew crack. Craziness and moral dilemmas ensue. Again, the writing on this show is incredible. All the characters connect in such profound ways. The relationship between the hoodlum he hooks up with as his partner and the science teacher, who was actually his teacher at one point, is fascinating. Life just keeps tying together these characters that have almost nothing in common. Both these protagonists challenge the notions of what is good and bad is and shows us morally complex, multi-dimensional characters.

I just read Loving Frank, a historical fictional account of an affair architect Frank Loyd Wright had with a married woman named Mamah Cheney. I've included her picture in this post. It's set in the late 1800's and early 1900's at a time when a woman leaving her husband and children for another man was considered a front page scandal. A peek into the love life of one of the most influential architects ever. Also, a profoundly feminist book from a time when women we're still attempting to not be seen as the property of their husband and wanted the right to vote. Mamah is a character that seems to be an uncommon character for her time: an educated woman who cared about women rights and her independence. Perhaps not the best writing I ever read. The main characters seems a little distant from what is happening around her, not sure if the author is trying to show her old world 'properness' but it makes the book drag at points.

Next I am onto the Harry Potter series. I have started the first one and its already got me intrigued. I just couldn't miss out on a major work of our time. So here I go onto to read the entire series, thanks to my niece for lending them all to me. I have not consumed any of the movies at all yet.

My book is due for another draft. Need to make my main character more likable and relateable were my latest notes.

Married.... check!

2010-12-30T12:20:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted in a while.... but since no one really reads this there have been no complaints. I did get married. It was lovely. Highlights and amazing moments: the incredibly amazing and intense moment of walking into a room where all my friends and family stared at me with love in their eyes while my groom waited at the end of the aisle. It was so intense I started laughing and crying. My friends and nieces as my wedding choir. Friends Bob and Magali singing.Our vows we'd written ourselves, I cried again at this point. Jason's brother and best man and the tripped out music video he made us of the song 'Afternoon delight' My parents incredibly heartfelt speeches, everyone cried. The massive amounts of Italian food. The amazing chocolates made by friend Keith, amazing cake made by friend Hinna. Hand sewn butterfly garlands by the lovely Sarah C. Dancing the Italian polka's. Seeing all the decorations I created fill the room. Feeling incredibly beautiful for a day and everyone wanting to get their picture taken with us. Bliss.

Now its back to the business of writing, being inspired, reading etc.

next weekend i get married

2010-10-16T06:03:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in my kitchen with a cup of tea surrounded by vases and turquoise and red ribbon.

Next Saturday by this time I will be munching on my bridal breaky about to leave to have my hair done. I am still in tact dear world. The life of this bride over the last two months has been busy, emotionally intense and at times frantic.

Here are the important lessons I learnt as a novice bride, who never thought I'd have a 'big wedding' day.

Please indulge me this one rare post that is full of my advice.

1. Don't panic and throw money at situations.

Compare prices on everything, on your wedding bands, flowers or any wedding related thing. There is always, always a cheaper solution. For instance, we got vintage rings instead of new, which is way less expensive then getting them custom-made. I bought all my vases and glass bowls for the centerpieces from thrift shops. I am ordering my flowers through Loblaws. My sister even shopped around for the cheapest lines. Most of the supplies for making our decorations and ribbon came from the dollar store. Its still going to be a super expensive day but all this shopping around and doing things ourselves as saved us thousands of dollars.

2. Get buy with a little help from your friends.

If you have friends that do things ask them to be your wedding vendors. Still pay them but you can get away with paying them less. Of course don't ask close friends that we're going to be guests anyways. We have a friends as our wedding dj, photographers, wedding cake maker and one of Jason's groomsmen is a choclataire and is making the chocolates for our wedding favors. Also, of course give all your wedding party members jobs: one of my bridesmaids is videotaping and one is the emcee.

For your good friends give them small manageable jobs so you can take them up on their offer to help but your not loading too much responsibility on one or two people. One of my friends is leading a choir of friends, and other friends that are musicians are singing our wedding procession song and some friends have helped make decorations or are just helping deliver stuff to the venue on the day. You have people in your life that love you and will help you for free. Take advantage of that because it also makes the day feel more special when everyone is invested in it in some way besides just being a guest.

3. Its already all about you. Make it about your guests too.

The whole day is so focused on the bride and groom already. Forgo stuff like really long speeches by loved ones. Ask them to keep them short. Slide shows, or trivia games that are all about the bride and groom. We're doing things to help make it a fun party for our guests, like setting up a photo booth and creating a scavenger hunt game for each table to get us to kiss.

4. Reeeeeelaaaaaaax. Be a movie star for a day!

Do all the stuff you don't normally do. Get a facial. Get a massage. Get your hair done. This is one area you should splurge. Anything that makes you feel like a princess because that is a feeling we don't have in our daily life and should be relished. Also, all these things have just relieved a lot stress on me because I know nothing about doing my hair or make up and I know these pros will make me look lovely.

5. Expect everyone's emotions to be heightened.

Its supposed to be all about the bride but that is far from the truth. Grooms have panic attacks, parents worry if it is an opulent enough affair to impress all the relatives. Keep in mind that everyone is going through their own stuff. Keep firm to the things that are important to you but let the little stuff go. This is just one day and you have your whole married life to decide how everything should be. Just take a breath. All those dramas of today will be great anecdotes for your children to hear.

a fun dance party

2010-10-12T12:22:00.000-07:00

Our cake topper courtesy of playmobil.

I have read many a blog about happy brides and their crafting wizardry. Their endless diatribes about ways to incorporate wedding colours. Let me tell you one thing getting married is by far one of the most crazy, brave and emotionally intense things that you will ever do.

Over 100 people, and in my case, 200 people will travel from far and wide to watch you profess your love. That is bound to lead to all types of anxiety for even the most stable bride and groom and who is stable in this fast-paced day and age?

Keep all that in mind if your planning what many call 'the most important day of your life'. Honestly it is a major party/event to pull off.... of course... but is it the most important? I'm not so sure. I would say there are many important days. The day your spouse gets their job promotion, the day you met your spouse, the day you knew you were in love or the even the day after your wedding when -- alas you've made it you're married! It is maybe the biggest and most expensive party you'll ever throw -- but there will be countless important days, where there will be a test of your character and your commitment to those you love. With that in mind its not really such a big deal. Just a really fun dress up dinner and dance party with your friends and family.

this is your life

2010-10-07T08:35:00.001-07:00

We are literally 15 days away from the big, gargantuan day that is my wedding. Where most of the people that matter to me will watch me marry my love and hear countless anecdotes about me and my relationship. My emotions right now include some nausea, fear, excitement and utter disbelief.

Getting married by no means is considered extraordinary. There are many terrible reality shows dedicated to buying a wedding dress, celebrities finding and keeping love and marrying billionaires. Marriage has become something anyone can pull off.

But to actually find and marry that person that you know is simply right. That you feel most like the 'real' you with. That you feel deep in your bones that you have arrived to the life and person that you will age with, navigate through life with and who will drive you crazy a million times but who ultimately you will look at relief because the search is over forever.

Yes that is what I have found and it is indeed extraordinary.

love and such

2010-10-06T07:17:00.000-07:00

What do people talk to people about when they are not planning a wedding? I can't remember. Everything is about love poems, vows, forks, plates, flowers and ribbons. I long for the days when I actually had deep philosophical thoughts and I actually got some writing done.

Soon my lovelies, soon I will be freed from the planning the most grandiose day of my life. I am nervous about the intense focused attention of nearly 200 people on me and my groom but especially me. I find myself looking in the mirror and obsessing about my minor flaws: my not perfectly white teeth, my fly away and few gray hairs, the dark circles under my eyes. These things usually don't matter too much as I'm usually wrapped up in my thoughts and whatever I've decided makes me feel important on any particular day.

In other news the interactive hoodie hit the all night art thang nuit blanche with a splash. Wish I had the energy to push that project a little more. We'll see where we are at in the coming months once I'm back from my honeymoon and am settled into married life.

Paper Lanterns

2010-09-27T08:47:00.000-07:00

Hello World.
We plowed ahead on much wedding crafting on the weekend with the help of one of our fave peeps and crafters Sarah C. A total doll. Jason's groomsman and aspiring chocolataire brought heart chocolates for us to sample.

We we're at a housewarming party on the weekend and many people said 'see you in 3 weeks at your wedding.' Egad! Its not quite that soon but practically less than four weeks now.

Wow. If we actually make it to that day with all the stress and drama that can surround ones wedding I will weep with relief. Would I do this again? Hard to say. Ask me once the day is done and I've had the experience of having all the people I love in one room together watching me marry the love of my life. I'm sure it will be thrilling, terrifying and overwhelming.

Until then we continue to watch the response cards trickle in, talk about chocolates and cakes, cut out tissue paper flowers, look for shoes, shirts, ties and hair trinkets, stress about bridesmaid dresses, plan seating charts and wedding choirs. And simply dream about the rest of our lives.

Twig Wreaths

2010-09-22T06:27:00.000-07:00

Morning world. Still not married. Feeling sick. Our hoodie project lives on.

Here is my life right now. Commuting. Working. Planning. Commuting. Wedding crafting. Watching Desperate Housewives while I craft. Nagging my husband-to-be 'did you do this?'. Meeting wedding people. Spending money. Commuting. Working. Dealing with my helpful and intense parents. Commuting. Ordering stuff off Etsy. Spending money. Shopping with Jason. He can't decide. Nagging him to decide. Checking the mailbox for replies. Telling people 'no you can not bring a date I don't know' this thing is EXPENSIVE. Commuting. Working. ETC.

Bride-zilla

2010-09-17T08:45:00.000-07:00

I am sitting at my cubicle listening to Caribou on Radio 3. My job right now is all about flow charts and functionality.

The wedding... when is it going to happen already. I can't wait to just be there already. With my friends, married and enjoying the day.

We are still on the hunt for our wedding bands. We had a meeting with a jeweler last night who gave us quite a high quote. We wanted to get our rings custom made but that just may not be possible. We also only have about a month now till wedding day! Time for Plan B. Not sure what that is yet.

We had an amazing engagement party hosted by my friend Rosa in her backyard this last weekend. One of the most amazing times of my life really. Just all these glowing lovely people from my life happy for us. Jason's brother gave a brief speech saying 'It has been a long time coming'. Very sweet.

The financial costs of our 'special day' keep mounting. Jason likes to remind me how he was pro a city hall wedding. Sigh. He doesn't understand that I bought a beautiful dress and every night I am making twig wreaths, terrarium center pieces and paper flowers to attach to lanterns. I need to have this wedding now. I am in waaaaay tooooo deeeeeep.

More on the letter W

2010-09-02T08:06:00.000-07:00

Okay there have been wedding related meetings every eve this week.

It's been like this work, wedding, work, wedding.

But its also been lovely. A wedding is a wonderful way to really see how many people love you and simply make your life better.

We had ten people over to our new apartment making tissue paper flowers and terrarium center pieces last Saturday. There is nothing more fuzzy and warm feeling then having some of your dearest and oldest friends hanging out helping you and basically sending you the message that 'we love you' and 'are there for you and your married life'

People are traveling for other parts of the country to be part of the day, to deliver the speeches of how we met and to be a bridesmaid.

Because it is a going to be different then just living together. Its super serious stuff. Phew. But before the lifetime together thingy there is a huge party to throw. We have a historical war writer/humanist who is doing our ceremony. Friends playing music and singing in a choir. An expert DJ, a hardcore italian caterer who has known my parents for years, lots of paper lanterns, hand-crafted details everywhere. The pic is the front of the invite Jason and I designed.

Turquoise

2010-08-19T06:08:00.000-07:00

Life has been hectic with so many changes that the wedding plans have yet again gone to the back burner.

It's a little over two months away. We haven't sent any invitations yet, haven't finalized the menu, haven't decided on decorations, haven't gotten the rings, haven't finalized the ceremony, haven't even finished the guest list!

But I did find my dress AND my shoes phew. Jason started working on a drawing for the invitation last night.

So we're going into full steam wedding creation. Enlisting friends and family.... go, go, go.

We already have enlisted some wonderful friends to do some music for the ceremony and have booked our humanist officiant. And, I am on etsy everyday looking for crafty wedding ideas.

More soon as I embark on wedding overdrive.

The Games we PLAY

2010-07-27T12:35:00.000-07:00

I'm here at my new job. Just trying to adjust to not doing exactly what I want every day. But we all must earn a living and I do have a wedding I need to pay for. So, grown up life here I am. Commuting, cubicle, co-workers the whole gamut.

Enjoying my fellow cast of odd balls and creative brains working here. Since I'm working on something new I won't go into the deets, confidentiality and all. But it's good, its fun, and I'll learn.

Had to pass up on presenting and doing Neighbourhoodie at a conference next month but I simply cannot handle it all. I'm trying to get better at zeroing in on exactly what I want to do and not get too overloaded. Its hard because I have a hard time saying no to anything. I am always afraid I'll miss out on the coolest most life changing experience ever. But this must just be what being a grown up feels like. Although, I am firmly committed to remaining childish on some level for the rest of my life.

Makers Quest, who I was a finalist for a very cool US public radio and multi-platform prize, I didn't win but they asked me to blog about me and my work.
How to be an Innovative Storyteller

a new apartment, a new job and getting married

2010-07-14T13:48:00.000-07:00

I haven't written for about a month because I've been having some interesting meetings, jason and I have been looking for a new apartment and I got hired for a new job. Here is an image I just created of the Soft City characters to pitch to a big production company for a series concept and a magazine for a comic strip concept.

I am going to be a senior writer for GANZ creators of webkinz. In the kids entertainment world this is huge they're interactive online game and toy have revolutionized the industry. I will be commuting to the suburbs but its worth it to be doing exactly what I want in the field I want to be in.

Right now I am packing up the great studio we've been in for the last three years and am excited about being in a proper apartment again where the heat isn't always on the fritz, the ceiling doesn't cave in when it rains and its not a billion degrees in the summer due to skylights.

I'm nervous about keeping all my creative juices flowing while working full time. I still am trying to finish my rewrites on my book by september. Rewrites can be hard because the more you stare at the same work the more unsure I get around whether it is even remotely good.

Back to packing, purging and pontificating.

my high school teacher told me i lacked focus

2010-06-09T06:27:00.000-07:00

When I was in grade 12, I was a lot like I am know interested in a tonne of things had lots of different friends, was curious and exploratory.

Now I am old but really not all that different. My high school World Issues teacher said to me that I couldn't always be someone with lots of interests that I needed to be one thing in order to succeed. I never forgot that. Sometimes when I am feeling positive I am like 'screw you Mr. Dawson' I am making it MY WAY, other times I'm like 'why didn't I listen to that wise man'.

However, you can't fight what you naturally are. Recently I did one of those personality tests based on Jung, look into it they are spookily accurate an there are versions you can do online. I am an ENFP, which apparently means I get bored easily am usually good at many things and am strongest in communication and writing. I am paraphrasing it goes into much more detail. When I read the personality description out loud to Jason he thought I was making it up because it sounded EXACTLY like me.

Ha, Mr. Dawson I am talented, take that! How does following your dreams and your talents lead to stability and money? Many believe these are mutually exclusive, but I don't. There are things peculating that I will keep you posted on. I posted a picture here of Jung. He is actually a character in my book that Amy sees and talks to when she disappears. I love how he was a man of science that also believed in the paranormal. A wonderful walking contradiction.

summer time wanderings

2010-06-01T16:21:00.000-07:00

I've posted another image from our neighbourhood watch show.

Still trying to wrap my brain around my post Canadian Film Center life.

Today over coffee with a talented comedy and kids show writer I was asked why I want to write. What would my mission statement be. A good and probing question.

I thought about it and answered: since I was a kid writing has been the thing that I felt the most confident and comfortable doing. I had avoided truly doing it till now because it was scary to actually get what I wanted out of life. Now, though, I needed to try. Even if I totally bomb its worth it because I tried. I think that summarizes how I feel.

In the next few years when I begin having a family I am going to always remember to teach my kids that when they grow up they should be true to themselves above all else. I am in a corny reflective mood today. My parents as immigrants didn't have the ability to push me to dream big. They were too busy surviving. I am fortunate to have access too so many creative opportunities and people. I have met so many people who really support and believe in me, which is an incredible feeling.

teeny weeny little world

2010-05-28T06:51:00.000-07:00

Jason and I have been working our little butts off getting ready for our art show of miniatures... and finally it is done and up. They are tiny buildings where you can look inside and see people in rooms doing various things, reading, staring out the window, watching TV.

It is our first art show together outside of our other collective stuff, and I hope we do more. He is such a talented guy, and I don't say that just because I am marrying him, and working with him really pushes me to make amazing stuff.

We even did a bunch of electronics with the help of my media lab mate Stefan, a super brilliant dude. There is a little guy who rocks on his rocking chair, tonnes of little lamps that switch on and off, a tiny little flickering TV. It is super cool and really breaths more life into the work.

Tonight is our opening and hopefully people make it out. We will serve teeny tiny food, cupcakes, candy all the essentials.

Me and Cutting Edge Tech

2010-05-18T05:45:00.000-07:00

I'm speaking today at the In:Play conference for kid entertainment. I am actually on a panel about the future of play and cutting edge technology, you never know where life will take you. I am feeling nervous and confident and excited by my fellow geek culture tech head co-panelists. I will be of course talking about the Neighbourhoodie and hopefully making my design team proud.

In writing news, I have written two sample scripts and finished a draft of my graphic novel script in the last month. It has been great fun really digging into my writing and I feel like it is improving as I really put my brain to it.

Looks like I will be doing some really exciting writing work for a new interactive and tv company started by some tv veterans. More on that as it unfolds.

Wedding dresses

2010-05-13T05:55:00.000-07:00

There is all this protocol around weddings that I don't know. I wonder how do girls know it? Is there a girly guide book that I never received? When I went into dress shops yesterday with my sister and I said I was getting married in Oct. somehow I was waaaay late to start shopping for a dress. It's almost half a year away!

Here is what I discovered out in the field of bride land. The dresses while beautiful and detailed objects, still to me feel like costumes, and frankly not flattering. I would never in my normal life wear a dress with a train that drags across the floor, nor would I spend upwards of 2000 dollars on it. But it was fun to see all the stressed out brides and sort of bizarre to have a stranger dressing me. I see how it is really a time when one suddenly feels like they are back in royal times, with the detailed gowns and everyone paying so much attention to you. I am leaning towards a local designer and a dress that is less of a wedding dress, and more of something pretty and comfortable. It still feels too much like make believe these dresses.

Neighbourhoodie is going strong and I will be part of a panel to discuss the future of how children and young people play at a conference next week. I love suddenly feeling like an expert.

The draft of the book is done, done, done. Now it's off to my agent Sam for comments and edits. Then maybe just maybe we start to think of selling the thing. Also been writing some scripts and just having so much funny putting to paper all the wiggy and wacky worlds in my head. I'm off today to talk about working on projects with The Chocolate Liberation Front, best name for a company ever! Will keep you posted dear blog with no real focus and no readers.

Till the next technology rambling and wedding musings.

Brought to you by the letter W

2010-04-29T05:39:00.000-07:00

Writing, words. Gimmeee a W!

The image is the view outside my window. I am an early riser.

If my friends haven't heard from me in a while it is because I am spending so much time with the characters in my book. I don't like them better or anything, I'm just they're creator. They need me.

Meeting my writing circle pal Jamie today to talk about stories we're working on. He writes children shows and is working on a beaver architect script. We are a writing circle of two.

On the topic of W... wedding. Next week my sister and I start wedding dress shopping. That is going to be especially surreal to see myself in one of those things. Even though I am way old enough to get married it still feels like I am a kid dressing up. Actually, this is officially my second marriage the first was to my neighbourhood friend Carmela in her backyard, when we we're seven.

apparently being postivie will change your life.

2010-04-28T11:18:00.000-07:00

The biggest challenge with writing is not the exorbitant amount of hours one spends by themselves. Although my cat spook does sometimes happen by and licks my toes. It is being willing to ruthlessly cut out the lovely crafted sentences and ideas that took so long to create.

Be it a business plan, a treatment, a novel. One must be succinct. Its really hard to deal with the fact that not every single idea and thought I put down to paper is pure brilliance. In reality I'd say I'm averaging about 15% brilliance, maybe. That would likely be generous.

I found this free book in my stairwell: 'Excuse me, Your Life is Waiting'. Yes, I have been reading it I am embarrassed to say. I am not a self help book person but when one crosses my path I think people read these things, this is actually a New York Times best seller. There must be something useful.

As far as I can tell the twist is that you have to have positive feelings rather than thoughts. That negativity and low self confidence bring bad stuff to you. Okay thanks for that. Who are these people who just walk around never having a doubt about themselves, their direction? Or better yet who are the people that are the total opposite and then once they read in print: 'feel positive stuff and stuff will happen' have their lives totally change.

Sigh. I guess you can call me ms. negative. If I'm wrong and the book does change my life I will let you know.

Okay back to writing. Ripping ones own writing to shreads. I think that is the only way to really get good. A lot of people write. But how many people truly are good? I'm not saying I am. But maybe I could be. One day.

Back to it. Killing the little flowery worded sentences that are dear to my heart.

In the Workshop

2010-04-27T06:21:00.000-07:00

My husband-to-be and I are madly creating miniatures for an upcoming art show at the end of may. Some of these whimsical little creations are going to have interactive elements to them, a flickering TV, a little radio that goes on, a head that turns.... magic.

The graphic novel draft 1000.567 is almost complete. As a little teaser, because it is still so far away from being published lets just say: talking birds, laughing disease, disappearing girls. Exciting and wacky stuff.

I highly recommend the book Mistik Lake by Martha Brooks. A short and powerful read about how a tragic event can have a ripple effect. It is a young adult book but is enjoyable if you're a grown up as well. Or like me an adult who never really grew up. In TV land we've been really getting into Breaking Bad, not for the faint of heart. Some heavy subject matter but the interwoven narratives of the characters are brilliant. It also really shows the complexity of humans who struggle to be good and often get confused as to what that means.

I'm going to start writing or rather blogging more. Not really sure how to blog or what is relevant but its all about the journey as they say. So that is what I am going to write about my multiple simultaneous journeys.

storytelling

2010-04-12T05:57:00.000-07:00

I am returning to the roots of my roots. These go way far back. This image is from a drawing I have up right now for a show called Cartoon City where graphic novelists were asked to draw their hood.

I like technology. I like gadgets. I like to make beautiful objects but most of all I love stories. I love to consume them and I love to imagine them.

Thus, the decision is that that will be full on pursuit, my living, my passion. Now to discover who needs them and why.

In the meantime I bury myself in writing my graphic novel again. And I love it.

On the marriage front. Next to tackle the wedding list. 6 months till marriage blast off!

phase one complete

2010-04-04T06:11:00.000-07:00

Okay we invented an interactive game platform and its in a hoodie. Hoodies are one of my fave things ever. I have maybe 8 of them. Cozy.

We had our soft launch. People came they said ohhhhhh and awwwwww. Now we develop it further to incubate it at MaRS and become famous and rich of course.

On the wedding front. We have venue! yippeee. A dj, a caterer. We are well on our way. The venue does not have cherubs, fountains or in any way is it called princess or cinderlla blah, blabbedy blah.

It is on the lake. It's a rowing club with black and white pics of rowers with big mustaches. perfection.

I have made a decision about my life blogesphere. I am going to WRITE. I know i already do that but as my career. Write books, video games, tv shows. While still making ART. This is going to be the full time plan. and its going to work and be awesome. I will make a living, mark my words. never understood that saying but I like it.

Onwards!

worst blogger ever

2009-12-14T20:53:00.000-08:00

Okay, okay, why is this so hard. Type some words in a pre-fab blog. Vent. Go.

The CFC where cutting edge media people come to congregate and flex some brain muscles.

We have these weekly crits where we discuss the progress of our prototypes. We're in production now. 9 of the smartest people I have ever met combine their brain power for an hour and half every tuesday and tell us all the amazing ways we can kick new media ass. Pretty mind blowing and intimidating. Its just a wall of laptops probing questions and cool references. At last weeks crit they described the process of deciding building and creating our prototypes/projects to be much like a boa constrictor eating piglets: contracting and expanding out. On my groups mind, wearable electronics, lights, sensors, audio augmented reality. Yippee.

Okay, the wedding, we've been engaged since June and planning it is literally like this terrible looming task that will not go away. I have opened the Pandora's box of family drama. Some of the scary and hilarious highlights in the search of a venue for our special day 'the make believe hall' at fantasy farm. Equipped with a red shag carpet bridal suite with a giant kitten painting, and a banquet hall made to look like the best fake castle ever. All brides just want to be princesses after all. My parents are fond of the mc-halls one can find up in suburban stripe malls and it is beyond them why anyone would choose to get married somewhere beautiful overlooking our lake instead. Which is my choice.

Will we just elope? Or will my world of kooky bohemian friends and huge Italian family manage to all come together in one space at the same time. Time we'll tell if I can actually graduate into new media greatness and become a bride all in one year or less.

Nuit Blanche all night art thing RECAP

2009-10-08T16:05:00.001-07:00

We walked long, hard and far. Highlights: giant four letter words suspended over city hall, giant silver bunny in the Eaton Center, amusement rides in financial district, my CFC lab mate, David's, interactive sound sculpture and giant wedding cake complete with brides dancing on the cake and jumping on top on a trampoline. In general I was really into stuff that was giant and in spaces not normally reserved for art. Such as Heather Nicol taking over Union station as a giant sound/visual/smoke machine installation.

We traveled in a pack and the general rule of thumb for covering ground was: no stuff we normally see in a gallery, no heady performance art or video projections. Harsh but we couldn't see it all.

Our down fall was waiting in line for the fastwurms exhibit. We thought it would be awesome interactive glittery sculpture land. Instead it was a long line where we then entered the patio/deck of a hotel to find another line where we could then wait (note we had already waited in line for an hour on a night where there is A LOT to check out) and have artists wearing scarves and capes use a program on a ipod tell us our future. WHAT! We were so angry we left -- sans reading -- and it was the bouncing brides after that and a little portable rave truck that lifted our spirits. The description said it would be an amazing occult type experience: big wordy art lies.

Over all it is an incredible surreal night where it seems like suddenly anything can be art even a giant puddle of voldka in a bank lobby. (who curates this stuff) And you may just run into a group of people wearing paper bags that say "I'm sorry" or a bunch of people wearing white sheets and reading ghost chants. It for sure covers all the W's weird, wacky and wonderful!

Some Video Clips:

CFC exercise: Contents of Bag

2009-10-06T09:52:00.000-07:00

Inspired by artist Daniel Sporri

Bag: Black Sweater Bag

1. Ailments:

a. 4 loose Advil Gel Capsules

b. Box of Life Brand Cold Assist

c. One halls lozenger

d. One OB tampon

2. Lunch and Snacks:

a. one mini brown tupperware from chinatown that says: Merry Berry, lovely, sweet, honey

b. one blue ikea thermos with coffee in it

c. striped lunch tote bag

3. Cellphone with missed calls (ringer turned off)

4. Paper and scraps:

a. used streetcar transfer

b. hairdresser business card

c. several of my own business cards

d. cfc instructor Dario Meli business card

e. wedding dress shop, low on pope, business card

f. cfc new media grad: Alex Jansen, business card

g. cfc lab mates girlfriends business card

h. sanko japanese food store receipt

i. busy bee market/convenience store receipt

j. business card for Addison used appliance

k. book city receipt

l. urban outfitter receipt

m. mamma's pizza receipt

n. beck taxi receipt

5. Toronto Public Library card

6. House keys/building key/mailbox key/tinker bell keychain from nieces

7. Green leather wallet (found on free-give-away window sill in building)

okay so i'm not much of a blogger and its fall

2009-10-01T13:52:00.000-07:00

its been a month since my last post. but i've been busy getting my art show of miniatures and animation ready, shooting and cutting a video podcast for R3TV of the polaris prize and basically going down this rabbit hole of new media and interactive arts.

what is that? i'm still learning myself but it is a wide open wacky expanding world. a world of augmented reality, interactive cinema, innovative storytelling, games and gadgets. so far we have learned how to come up with wicked ideas fast, how to make a cube out of rope in a group blindfolded, what the upcoming gadgets and games are .... etc.

what will i do? what will i be from all this? who knows that has never seemed to be what drives me in life and maybe i just need to give into that more. mmmmmm. the unknown. the people that have come into to instruct us for a few days have blown my mind, the are often brilliant and eclectic. i may have found my kin amongst the people coming throught their and my residents we all seem to be restless, creative, opinionated and ready to be inspired. more soon and more often. oh and the wedding planning thing has been on a bit of stand by since the venue i love is too small for my two thousand italian relatives.

inaugural post

2009-09-04T07:35:00.000-07:00

I have never really blogged. Nor do I know why I am staring now. But why not record some thoughts on my start at the Film Center and the year I decide to get married.

Today I am home working on miniatures for my upcoming harbourfront show. Been spending hours and hours and stitching little dolls, birds, and creating little rooms. It is strangely exhilarating and relaxing. Spook the cat is leaping about and hiding out periodically. Saturday I start my wedding dress shopping with my friend Janine. Been trying to wrap my head around how I am going to have my type of 'day' with my 100 italian relatives underfoot with their traditional expectations. Somehow a potluck wedding in the park will not cut it if they are giving me cash gifts. I've even turned to Martha Stewart. I may not be a bridezilla but I am a bride after all and I am starting to get sort of excited and nauseous simultaneously.

Also, just finished reading Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro, a strange and simple book about young people that were designed as clones to donate their vital organs. Yet somehow does not have that typical irritating sci-fi quality. Also, picked up, cause it was 4.99 on sale, a book from this corporate dude about how peeps without lots of connections can be a success. Strangely it is really interesting to peer into this world of people with plotted out careers and how they manage it. I have always been much more random in my approach to things. Likely why I have such a bizarre resume from working with street kids to be a tv show producer. Enough for now.